Back in March my girlfriend and I made the most monumental move of our lives (which is saying a lot considering I’ve lived in 5 countries across both hemispheres), we left our comfortable city apartment in Hamburg, Germany to start a new chapter in the German countryside.
We'd been incubating this countryside dream for a while when suddenly one day, an opportunity to manifest it came out of thin air. My girlfriend was invited to be a part of a small-scale, community-supported organic gardening project, providing farm-to-table produce to an engaged community of locals in rural Germany. The opportunity required us to live at the farm where we would have our own private space to call home … without any additional costs! This was exactly what I needed as I had also just quit my corporate job to become fully self-employed. Here was my chance to relieve some economic pressure and minimise the financial risk of launching my business whilst living within a conscious environment. Crazy right?!
“This is it”, I thought, “I’m finally escaping the Matrix”.
So we packed up our city lives and U-Hauled it to our new, rural dream-come-true to commence life in a space that prioritised sustainable, holistic and conscious relationships with food, nature and community.
And here comes the big fat REALITY CHECK …
Five months in and this has been the most challenging experience of my adult life. So challenging to the point that I haven’t had any additional energy, time or space (until now) to nourish my business as I've needed it all to nourish myself. The reasons for this are multilevel and honestly, I’m still processing and integrating a LOT of it, but what I really want to share is a portion of the humble pie I’ve been served and am still digging into:
Escaping the Matrix is a spiritual delusion.
Because even within this unconventionally beautiful and peaceful landscape full of abundance, generosity, safety, security, nature, community and minimal financial pressure, there is STILL no running away from CONFLICT, PAIN, and SUFFERING.
More specifically, there is no running away where there is still inner work to be done.
No matter how dreamy or idealistic that alternative experience of reality we’re trying to manifest is:
It can be ruined in the blink of an eye by the unprocessed wounds we project onto it
Even the brightest of new circumstances has its shadows
The dream relationships, homes, jobs and experiences so many of us are chasing do not exist in reality at the standard we perceive them within our minds without first confronting OUR OWN limiting beliefs, unhealthy coping mechanisms, narcissistic societal programming, unprocessed trauma, outdated strategies we picked up in childhood to deal with stress, the toxic roles and behaviours we are accountable for in relationship to others, our lack of boundaries or our failure to express and respect them, and our inability for direct, honest communication … to name but a few topics.
The universe doesn’t care how evolved, awake, conscious or spiritually disciplined we think we are … if we want and expect more from life, there’s a lot of inner work that needs to be done.
So before you think about hopping ship outta some Matrix-like situation you find yourself in, consider the baggage you carry with you and the fact that whatever's inside your subconscious carry-on will shape, decorate and set the tone for whatever new manifested experience you wind up in.
I for one certainly came packing. This personally challenging year has highlighted to me the baggage I no longer need to carry, the skills and tools I’ve needed to acquire, and the actions I've avoided taking to move me into more aligned experiences.
We're swimming through wild times, aren’t we? And more than anything it demands self-reflection and giving our emotions the attention and awareness they deserve. Whatever you’re processing, I promise you, you’re not alone. We’re all on this great, big galactically simulated rollercoaster-glitch-thing called life together.
If you’re looking for a safe space to be held and witnessed in deep energetic resonance, my 1:1 sessions are now open again.
These sessions are designed to be a space where we deeply ENGAGE with, REFLECT on and INTEGRATE whatever you’re processing in your life. I look forward to working with you.