IFS Parts Work: 8 Signs You’re Caught in Inner Conflict (and How to Work with It)

When parts of us are in conflict, it doesn’t just stay in the mind. It shows up in reactions, habits, resistance, and in the places we feel stuck or scattered. IFS Parts Work—or Internal Family Systems therapy—offers a way to understand and work with these internal dynamics.

Rather than forcing change or silencing inner voices, Parts Work helps you build a relationship with the parts of you that are trying to protect, manage, or express what’s been unmet.

Here are 8 signs that your inner parts may be in conflict—and what they may need instead.

A person covers their ears as a shadowy hand looms behind them, symbolizing inner conflict and self-critical thoughts. Text overlay reads: ‘It’s Not Self-Sabotage’ — reflecting the IFS Parts Work approach to understanding internal struggle.

1. You Feel Angry at Yourself

Do you frequently lash out at yourself or experience self-directed anger? This could be a sign of internalised aggression, where a part of you is expressing unresolved anger inwardly. Often, this anger has roots in childhood when expressing emotions felt unsafe. IFS therapy helps you understand the purpose of this anger and work with it to bring healing and release.

2. You Struggle with Shame

Shame can leave you feeling fundamentally flawed or unworthy of love. This emotion is often held by a younger part of you that was hurt in the past. In IFS therapy, we explore where this shame is coming from and work to heal the parts of you that carry this painful burden.

3. You React in Childish Ways

Do you find yourself overreacting or responding to situations in ways that feel immature? This might be a sign of regression, where a younger part of you is triggered. In Parts Work, we help this younger part feel safe and nurtured, so it no longer needs to act out in challenging situations.

4. You’re a Perfectionist

Perfectionism doesn’t always look like over-achieving. Sometimes it looks like self-sabotage. A part of you may have learned that if you can’t guarantee perfection—it’s safer not to try at all.

This kind of perfectionism doesn’t push you harder—it freezes you. It shuts down momentum before it begins. In Parts Work, we help this protective part feel safe enough to move forward—not because perfection is possible, but because it isn’t necessary.

5. You Feel Caught in an Inner Tug-of-War

Internal conflict often feels like being pulled in two directions at once—one part urging action, another pulling back for safety. This is not indecision—it’s active disagreement inside you. Parts Work allows these polarised parts to be heard, understood, and guided toward resolution.

6. Your Inner Critic is Overwhelming

The inner critic is a common part that constantly undermines your actions and decisions. While it seems harsh, this part is often trying to protect you from failure or embarrassment. In IFS therapy, you can learn to soften the inner critic’s voice and understand its underlying motivations.

7. You Procrastinate Frequently

Do you often put off tasks or avoid taking action? This could be a sign of a part that is scared of moving forward, likely due to fear of failure or judgment. Through somatic parts work, we can explore the root of this procrastination and help that part feel safe enough to take action.

8. You Feel Stuck, Frozen, or Unable to Move Forward

Feeling stuck isn’t always about indecision—it’s often about protection. When parts of you don’t feel safe moving forward, they may withhold energy, clarity, or consent. Parts Work helps you meet these quieter parts—not forcing movement, but creating enough safety that forward motion becomes possible again.