What Inner Conflict Really Looks Like: 8 Signs Your Parts Are in Tension

And how somatic parts work can help you move forward

When you feel stuck, frozen, or self-critical—it’s rarely random. There’s usually a reason. And that reason often lives in your internal system.

In IFS-informed and somatic coaching, we work with the idea that you’re made up of many ‘parts’—aspects of your psyche that carry different roles, needs, fears, and emotions. These parts aren’t pathological. They’re trying to help. But sometimes, they get locked into conflict. And that inner tug-of-war doesn’t just stay in the mind, it shows up in your nervous system, your patterns, your relationships, and your body.

Here are 8 signs that your parts may be in tension, and what they might be trying to protect.

1. You Feel Angry at Yourself

Self-directed anger often signals an internal part that’s been shamed for its needs, or a protective part that’s trying to keep you in line. Either way, the anger likely isn’t the root problem—it’s a strategy. In somatic parts work, we don’t silence it. We slow down, get curious, and ask: what is this anger trying to prevent? What is it protecting?

2. You Struggle with Shame

Chronic shame tends to stem from parts that internalised the belief that something about you is fundamentally wrong. These are often younger, wounded parts who learned early on that love was conditional. Rather than trying to override them with affirmations, we build relationship. We let them know: you’re not alone anymore.

3. You React in Childish Ways

Ever feel like a rational adult one moment—and a five-year-old the next? That’s not weakness. It’s a younger part surfacing, usually because it feels threatened or abandoned. These parts don’t need to be shushed. They need safety, attunement, and sometimes even symbolic reparenting.

4. You’re a Perfectionist

Perfectionism often isn’t about ambition, it’s about fear. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being judged. For some, it shows up as overworking. For others, it’s paralysis: “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t try at all.” In parts work, we meet the part that’s clinging to perfection—and find out what would make it feel safe enough to loosen its grip.

5. You Feel Caught in an Inner Tug-of-War

When you want two contradictory things—like rest and productivity, closeness and distance—it’s rarely a lack of clarity. It’s usually two parts in disagreement. In somatic work, we help both parts feel heard and respected—so integration becomes possible.

6. Your Inner Critic is Overwhelming

The inner critic often gets a bad rap. But it’s usually a protective part, shaped by early experiences where vigilance meant safety. Its voice may be harsh, but its job is often to prevent humiliation, rejection, or failure. When we approach it with curiosity (not resistance), it often softens.

7. You Procrastinate or Avoid

Avoidance is not laziness. It’s protection. Often, there’s a part that’s afraid to move forward—because of what it might mean or stir up. Rather than pushing through, we slow down and listen: What is this part afraid might happen? What does it need to feel safer?

8. You Feel Stuck, Frozen, or Unable to Move Forward

Stuckness doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means something in you doesn’t yet feel safe enough to move. In somatic parts work, we meet that stuck part with gentleness—not trying to fix it, but offering presence and permission until movement becomes possible.

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The Path Forward

Inner conflict isn’t something to push past. It’s something to be in relationship with.

If this resonates, I offer a three-month coaching container designed for high-functioning, emotionally attuned individuals ready to work with complexity—not against it.

Together, we explore the parts of you that are tired of performing, over-functioning, or bracing. And we build the safety needed for something new to emerge.

Introductory Session (60mins)

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